One Captivating Verse

For my students

Elissa Yost — Thu, 02 May 2013 01:15:00 +0000

I remember watching my Great Aunt Betty slowly braid her hair and twist it up into a bun. I would sit on the end of her bed and wonder how her hair got that long. She would turn around and look at me, really look at me like she saw all of me, and then she would say, “Lissa you are special, and I know you are going to do big things some day.”

This was my mantra through high school and college…I knew I would do big things because my Aunt Betty had told me I would.

Today teenagers face more pressure and negative messages than ever before. So I want to say something to all of my students….

Grand Center Arts Academy class of 2018, you are special. In the midst of you are individuals who will become doctors, lawyers, and teachers. You are smart and can achieve more than you know. You are creative and talented. You will become accomplished artists, musicians, and dancers. Each of you is beautiful and have so much to offer the world.

You WILL do big things. You are diamonds waiting to be found. Let your light shine so others can see it.

The first visit

Elissa Yost — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 00:13:17 +0000

As I walk into the office it instantly feels crowded. I’m greeted by a smiling man with glasses who directs me to a seat by a computer. There are four other people who have notepads out, they are ready to write, which makes sense since I am their lesson to glean information from.

A month ago, I had been sitting in my OB/GYN’s check-up room trying not to crunch the tissue paper too much. We had just gotten done having a discussion about my cycle, how long I had been off birth control, and how long Simon and I had been trying to have a baby.

“So, it’s been a year?” I hear her ask.

“I guess so….”

“How about we schedule you an appointment with our infertility specialist? I am sure it’s nothing, but we want to figure this thing out, ” She has a large reassuring smile on her face and heads out of the room.

Infertility, the words hit me like a ton of bricks. As she walked out I squeezed my eyes together trying to keep the tears in. This was my worst fear, the one thing I held tightly onto-my desire to be a mother.

I felt like there were a lot of things in life I could deal with, but this, this was not one of them. I had taught inner-city kids how to write and read. Moved to seven different states. Broke my foot while running, but continued the race. In my mind, having babies should be easy, if you did everything right it should just happen. After all, people got pregnant all the time without even meaning to.

In the crowded office I looked at all the faces staring at me. I thought to myself, each of these people is going to know more about me than maybe even I do.

“Scoot closer to me so you can see what I am typing,” said the smiling doctor.

I took a deep breath, gathered my courage, and slowly my history appeared on the screen.

#2 Tattoo

Elissa Yost — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 02:27:37 +0000

About a year ago I started thinking about getting a tattoo. I wanted it to be something that was meaningful and special to me. In the past year I have consistently been reminded of how much I need the gospel in my life. I have come face to face with my anxiety, my self-protected shell, my control, and my passive aggressiveness. I am no where close to having it all figured out, but God has shown me that I am bigger sinner than I ever thought but that he is also a bigger Savior than I ever thought. At the Journey (our church) each week we take communion to remember what Christ has done for us. While he is breaking the bread and pouring the wine, Jesus says to the disciples “do this in remembrance of me.” In Joshua 4, God commands the twelve tribes of Israel to place twelve stones of remembrance to remind them of how He had set them free. The word remember signifies to me both the work Christ has done in me and the work that is still to come. I marvel continually about how God know the deepest and darkest parts of me yet still chose to send his son for me. It is the awesome work of Christ; as Easter comes this weekend I hope we all celebrate and remember not only His death but also how He conquered the grave and sent His Spirit to live with us.

If you would like to read about the 30 things I am trying to accomplish in my 30th year click here.

Snow Day Book Reviews

Elissa Yost — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 01:58:17 +0000

Since I teach middle school, I read a lot of young adult fiction. I like to know what to recommend to my students to read and plus there is much of it that I find very interesting.

My Friday afternoon was spent reading books and drinking hot cocoa while snowed in. I need to remember to do this more often and not just when I have a snow day.

Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane:

I love, love Suzanne Collins. She wrote this series of books before the Hunger Games Trilogy and even though it is not as well-known, it’s just as great. This is the second book in the series and continues with Gregor’s adventures in the Underland. The bond of siblings is one of the main themes as Gregor goes back to save his sister, Boots. If you love fantasy, adventure, and mystery then this book is a great read.

Zig Zag:

When Robin’s boyfriend tells her he is enrolling in a summer program in Rome, she can’t believe it. After all it’s their last summer together before he goes away for college, in Zig Zag, Robin goes on a road trip where she ends up discovering much about herself. A coming of age story with a female protagonist is a rare find, combined with a good road trip and this makes a good read. At times, Robin’s character is a bit mopey but by the end of the book you will love her and the journey she has been on.

These are my first two reads of the year…I need to speed it up to make it to my goal of 25 books. I guess that’s what spring break and summer is for:)

Coping

Elissa Yost — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 19:09:56 +0000

This last week has been hard. During the past week, I found out four of my co-workers and friends are pregnant and I got my period. It was the perfect storm for me to have a break down.

While I didn’t have a breakdown my heart was in a very dark place. I shut my door to my classroom and laid down my head and bawled, I cried while showing my favorite poem to my students, I questioned my infertility doctor, and questioned God.

I guess I thought some day all of this would get easier…but the truth is it doesn’t. Until we are in heaven, the world will be broken. I know this but at the same time sometimes I just want Him to fix it all now.

Last weekend while I was at a women’s retreat 1 Corinthians 15:19 spoke to me. It says, “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people to be pitied.” This verse reminds me to hope in my inheritance to come and not in this life. These ways that God is working on me to trust Him and follow Him hurt really badly. It’s hard for me to give everything in my life to Him and not try to control it on my own. It’s hard not to trust in the things the world offers me. The gospel reminds me though that Jesus took care of it all already, He offers so much more that the world ever can. So I need to keep hoping in the life to come…looking forward to my inheritance.

To read more about Simon and I’s infertility story click here.

On our way to being debt-free

Elissa Yost — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 03:11:17 +0000

Today I made the last payment on our credit card. To put this in perspective, we have been married six and a half years. At one time we had five credit cards, we opened another one just to pay off another bill. We still have a long way to go…mortgage, student loans, car payments. But we have made a small step in the right direction.

Simon and I’s prayer is that our money and giving will be a picture of the gospel just as much as our lives are. We want to be able to steward what God has given us well by helping others. I’m glad we can celebrate the small steps and look forward to what is to come.

Happy Birthday Love!

Elissa Yost — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 23:39:00 +0000

Last weekend we went on a ski trip for Simon’s 30th birthday. I succeeded in completing both goals #12 and #13 on my 30 things for my 30th list and Simon almost killed himself going down a black diamond. All in all I would say the trip was a great success and I have a confession to make-I might have known we were going to go skiing before I made my list. I wanted to make sure that I accomplished some of my goals (probably the achiever in me).But, today I have a new list. It’s a little shorter and more meaningful.

Five things I love about my Simon

1. He is the most tenderhearted man I know- He truly cares and loves others more than any other man I know.

2. He is smart, inquisitive, and funny.

3. He is one of the best cooks-If you haven’t had his pizza you are missing out.

4. He sticks by my side and loves me through both our trials and our successes.

5. He loves Jesus and helps to direct me towards Him.

Happy 30th Sweetheart-I love you-forever and a day.

Some of my favorite people…

Elissa Yost — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 04:00:30 +0000

The people that I work with are the best. Hands down. No questions asked. We teach 7th graders, so obviously when we can laugh together it makes things better. Like last Thursday when we did this for parent/teacher conferences…

That’s right not only do I work with some of the best looking people you have ever seen, we also planned on having matching outfits. We are dorks-I love it.

#11 or trying to get back in the rhythm of running

Elissa Yost — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 03:37:16 +0000

This last Friday was gorgeous; 70, sunny, perfect weather. A freak weather day for STL in the middle of January. I got out of work early because I was at a conference-all signs were pointing to a terrific day to run. I got home, changed, and got Stella on the leash and we were out the door.

I was on the end of my run heading back to our house. My legs felt great and I started pushing to go a little faster, then it happened. Part of the sidewalk slanted up, I tripped, tried to catch myself and then in one fluid not so graceful movement I was scrapping the sidewalk.

Stella, being the jittery Labrador that she is, immediately jerked on my arm until I let go of her leash and ran forward to the middle of the street. I got up as quickly as I could and yelled, “Stella, STOP!” Miraculously she listened, she stopped dead in her tracks.

I yelled at her a second time, “COME!” Long pause, she stared at me. She was frozen and plus I knew one command was her limit. Luckily, the cars stopped coming long enough for me to jog over to her and get her out of the street.

As we walked back I evaluated my condition. Both knees skinned, sore right arm that won’t turn, scratched and bruised left wrist. I thought about how this happens to me about once a year but usually I just skinned my knees. I shook my head, at least I got this out of the way early this year.

Girl who does Yoga

Elissa Yost — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 20:11:15 +0000

This summer I began practicing yoga. I started going at the suggestion of my counselor to relieve some anxiety and worry. When I first started going it was rough. Below is a story about one of my first times going to the class.

As I walked into the room with my trusty yoga mat I had borrowed from Simon, I read the sign on before you went into the room; Remove your shoes. Enter Quietly. Do not enter classes late. I took note of the last rule-this would be the hardest for me to follow.

The teacher spoke with a Spanish accent so I immediately feel comfortable and at home. I rolled out my mat and sat crossed legged on the floor. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head-like it seemed everyone else around me was doing. Everyone looked very calm, relaxed, and…meditative. My mind started racing, had I paid the mortgage? did I lock the door when I left?- focus, Lis, clear your head.

Another person walks in – I have never seen a woman that skinny in my life. The teacher introduced herself as Maria and asked if it was anyone’s first time to yoga. I raised my hand slowly. She says, “Welcome.”

We start-”Please lay on your backs,” maybe this will be easy I thought.

“Breathe in and out, feel your breath.” I started really feeling my breath and thinking that I was going to be an expert at this yoga thing.

“Turn over on your belly and meet us up in downward dog.” Over and ouch-this sucks….how in the world am I going to do this over and over again?

I look around-why I am so distracted?

I look at the clock-there is 45 minutes left, I am never going to make it. I watch the other students gracefully moving through the positions with ease. I try not to look at myself in the mirror-I look nothing like everyone else. I barely can touch my toes and I fall over every three seconds, but Maria says that’s okay.

We lay down on the floor to end class. Maria comes around and presses everyone shoulders down to further relax them. She whispers in my ear, ” You did very well today.” I don’t know if I will ever be able to do this again.